All The Guilt, All The Time

Hey, if we haven’t met, my name is Lauren and I am technically a millennial. Though I resent being titled as such I suppose I need to own it. My generation is that oh so entitled group of kids that doesn’t want to work hard, complains about everything and feels super freaking entitled 😜.

The reality is, I am actual a hard ass working mom and wife with a full time job, just trying to make ends meet. Part of trying to do all of the things, is feeling all of the guilt. My main goal in the next year is to find my balance so I don’t feel all that crap anymore. But what crap could I possibly feel? I’m probably just feeling deserving of something I haven’t earned yet according to many of my elders. Why do they feel that way? I barely knew any moms when I was a kid who were working a full 40 plus hour week year round, with expectations of being at every school event, making organic homemade meals, making cold lunches for their kids, and also making time to work out so they looked damn good too. Let’s break this down.

 

1) growing up many of my dinners were out of the box or from the drive thru window, and my mom was a SAHM. Because even being a SAHM is effing busy and hard to do it all… for fun add a full Time job on top of regular mom duties. Thankfully I stumbled upon wildtree a while back and love having that in my back pocket for our dinners… if you have questions on what that is read my next blog post about wildtree meal prep and how awesome it is!

2. School events. OMG! There are so many random school events. I love my kid I want to support the shit out of her, you know what I don’t want? To take my lunch hour at 10am so I can be starving and crabby by 5 when I go to pick up all the children.  ( by all I mean 2… not sure why I made it sound like more)

 

3. Cold lunches every morning, I make them, I rock them. I also put money on my kids account and she gets hot lunch…it’s really not the end of the world.

4. Workout time. This is actually something I do feel I need, but also think we’ve put too high of an expectation on. Although the happy endorphins make me seem less crazy, we also need to accept moms in every shape. Because we have kids we are all doing what we can for them, and that wears the shit out of our bodies. If you’re looking for a great program I love my beach body coach! Her name is jess she is awesome and real!

That’s what I’ve got tonight. Go say F it! And enjoy your life, without feeling the guilt of having to do it all, all the Time. You will be late for work sometimes, you will miss some school events, you will have days where you pack your kid the lunchable. Don’t let anyone judge you for that if you’re giving all that you can, stop trying to give more than you have. Maybe I’m writing this one just to me… but maybe it will help someone else too.

 

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I lost my SH.

I finally cracked this weekend. I lost on my kids, I lost it on my husband… I was raging!! But I have tried to find ways to maintain my crazy and keep us all happy because I love these people that put up with my crazy! As people I believe we have a certain threshold of stress that we can handle. I also believe there are two types of people that keep pretending they can do more and more and more. Then there are those who are much better at setting their boundaries and just doing what works for them. I’m the first and dear god I am jealous of the second.

As a mother/wife/full time employee, I tend to be an over achiever in all of the above. Trust me in not bragging! I generally set the bar too high for myself and then feel like a huge failure because the truth is I (we) can’t do it all. More importantly that is okay. That is something I’m still teaching myself. So this is for all of you amazing people who push yourself too much.

1. Always make sure you’re doing something for you. Because, even if life is getting cray cray if you have something for you, at least you have some moments just for you and that on its own can be so rewarding.

2. Eat the chocolate. Drink the coffee. Do what you need to do to keep your sanity. If you’re as busy as me it’s probably because you’re doing a bunch of crap for other people that you love dearly.

3. A long hot shower goes a long way. When I get pissed over stupid stuff and I’m becoming aware of how dumb it is, I hop in the shower for 15 minutes have a good cry and time to think about how to organize my life. Sometimes you need a few minutes to organize your life.

4. Let yourself feel loved. Live in the messy house with the family that loves you and remember to enjoy the moments you have with them.

5. Be you. The best version of you is the real you. Plus if you’re this busy you don’t have time to try and put on a face of someone else. People will either like you for you… or they’re not your people. We all need our own people. And we need to have them to occasionally vent to.

 

Thats all all I got today. As an old friend used to say, have a beautiful day! And don’t lose your SHHH like I did this weekend 🙂 peace!

Let’s Talk About Food Baby!

Dinner. ugh. we all get home after a long ass day at work and don’t know what we’re cooking right? I mean at least I used to! For me it was a daily struggle, fighting to get words out of the mouths of my loved ones of what they want for dinner. Frustrated I would normally give up and buy some hamburger helper, mostly because it was cheap, filling, and everyone was happy with that. Except me.

So what did I change? Meal Planning. I know, I know it sounds so lame and probably like a waste of your time, but I promise you, in the long run it saves you time. It saves you from making that 6pm trip to the store when your kids are starving and by the time you feed them they don’t want to eat because they filled up on snacks anyway. It save you from throwing your face in your hands and pulling your hair out because for the 3rd week in a row you asked what everyone wanted for dinner and they responded with “I don’t care”. It saves you if you are just a busy person, and the last thing you want to do is cook a damn meal when you get home because you know you have to prep it, then cooke it then clean it up. I don’t promise any magic fairy will come to your door and fix the dishes… although I am still searching for one so if I find one I will let you know!

How do you meal plan? Do you save money? Do you even like the way the food tastes? all wonderful questions, and each one will be answered as I go through the next few weeks and try (again) at my blogging journey. So let me end with I LOVE FOOD, and I want to share my adventure as a wife, mom and crazy busy person who also loves eating. So lets make food great again and talk about how Wildtree has been my lifesaver at dinner time, and maybe I can help it become yours too! Blazin Buffalo Dip

 

The Things That Keep Us Married

My husband and I just got done with a vacation together. I will start this by saying there are fewer things greater than taking a hot shower and laying back in your own bed after a long weekend away! Ahh… as I sit here and reflect on the weekend I can’t help but think how far Adam and I have come and how much we have accomplished… so for this of you in first year or two of marriage this one is all for you – the 5 reasons that have kept us married.

1. Reason uno! Acceptance of things you cannot change. When we first got married I had unrealistically romanticized marriage. Marriage in the beginning is not the fairytale. You have to learn to love through all of the hard stuff even the stuff you don’t like. You have to accept that person for all the shit that drives you nuts and leading into my next reason recognition and appreciation for that persons greatmess!

2. Love alone is not enough. You need to learn to take the small thing and appreciate them in the hard times. Eek! That can be hard! While on my trip with my husband this weekend for example, imagine a couple biking through a foreign city. Cute ya? Or maybe they get lost a lot and one gets irritated… that one was me. It was so me, I am ten times over better at navigating and recognizing landmarks in new places – call it a gift. I could’ve snapped a hangry moment of dissatisfaction… but I try to stop and look at all the things he does right! Because to be honest it’s hard to be in charge of direction when you’re in a foreign place, and for all the things he does perfectly this is such a  stupid thing to be upset about and ruin a perfectly good vacation with each other.

3. Pick Thy Battles!! You’ve heard it before so I won’t tangent on this one, but for real don’t be stupid, pick the important things to fight about, and don’t do what I occasionally do which is fight about a situation that isn’t even real… like where you’re building a house if you’re not in a place to build your house yet.

4. Be Clear and Concise- that’s pretty self explanatory but on the other end if you do t understand your partner in what they’re saying. In a nice and lovely tone, ask them to re state what they’re saying or wanting it can make a world of difference if you actually understand each other.

5. Obvious or not- have sex. Not all the time, or do? Doesn’t matter but do it for each other try new things enjoy your time together. It’s not very often in this busy life you get minutes with your spouse ESPECIALLY if you have kids. (We have 2 they’re awesome!) but sexy time for each other, and love your time together every moment that you can.

Well, that’s all I got for tonight! Enjoy the long weekend 😉

They never said it would be easy… They didn’t lie

There are mornings I am laying in bed before the alarm goes off that I just sit there, almost counting my quiet seconds. Enjoying my bliss. I consider just getting up anyway and getting a run in before the crazy begins, but don’t worry I normally talk myself out of it. After that alarm the day is nothing short of a blur. I get the kids ready, drop the, off at their respective schools work my 8 hour day, make dinner and before I know it, it’s bedtime again and I am exhausted. Being a parent no matter how you’re doing it, it’s not easy! Just like you I search for time for myself, I savor my 5 minutes alone when I can get it, it’s not easy… But it’s worth it.

Its worth it when they call your name, when they tell you their stories. Treasure those moments, write them down and enjoy them again and again. I do everything I can to have time with my babies before they get too old to want to have time with their weird mom. I’ll be posting here as often as I can so you can see our weird, and my life. What I’m doing to try and work from home, and sometimes totally randomness. Join me, laugh at me, let me follow you and let’s do this craziness together!

 

 

 

 

Time.

What a week. Life has been so busy, that seems to be our excuse to not getting things done. But, there is always time to get things done isn’t there? Whether you have to stay up late to get it done, or wake up early, really… there is always time. My husband whether he realizes it or not is one of my biggers inspirations. When we started out we were working at restraunts and working our ways through college. Neither of us finished school, there was a wedding we went to and 9 months later a beautiful baby girl. I tried to go back for a year, but working full time with a family – it made nearly impossible to do well in school. I got tired of giving my professors the same excuses of being too tired because I worked until 4 and my daughter didn’t sleep through the night.  My husband though he didn’t waste his time trying to go back. He taught himself how to do what he does now. For a year he worked for himself, free lancing websites, and helping businesses get themselves seen online. within 18 months of knowing what he wanted to do, he landed a job that he could not be happier at, he has retirement, and he is just such a happier more satisfied person. Then there is me, seeing all that he has done, and hoping that I can be half as happy at a job. He would choose to go to work over hanging out at home some days, and I want that too. I want to feel like my job is a part of who I am, not something I have to do to pay the bills. I can’t wait to get Lolo’s going! I am so close. My husband is helping me with the website, the foundation is laid down, I really am almost to a point where I can make an order and start merchandising, and bringing in the money. The best part is I have a great job so I don’t feel like I am risking my families well being to do this, I just have to make time to do what I want, so that I can feel the same success my husband has.