All The Guilt, All The Time

Hey, if we haven’t met, my name is Lauren and I am technically a millennial. Though I resent being titled as such I suppose I need to own it. My generation is that oh so entitled group of kids that doesn’t want to work hard, complains about everything and feels super freaking entitled 😜.

The reality is, I am actual a hard ass working mom and wife with a full time job, just trying to make ends meet. Part of trying to do all of the things, is feeling all of the guilt. My main goal in the next year is to find my balance so I don’t feel all that crap anymore. But what crap could I possibly feel? I’m probably just feeling deserving of something I haven’t earned yet according to many of my elders. Why do they feel that way? I barely knew any moms when I was a kid who were working a full 40 plus hour week year round, with expectations of being at every school event, making organic homemade meals, making cold lunches for their kids, and also making time to work out so they looked damn good too. Let’s break this down.

 

1) growing up many of my dinners were out of the box or from the drive thru window, and my mom was a SAHM. Because even being a SAHM is effing busy and hard to do it all… for fun add a full Time job on top of regular mom duties. Thankfully I stumbled upon wildtree a while back and love having that in my back pocket for our dinners… if you have questions on what that is read my next blog post about wildtree meal prep and how awesome it is!

2. School events. OMG! There are so many random school events. I love my kid I want to support the shit out of her, you know what I don’t want? To take my lunch hour at 10am so I can be starving and crabby by 5 when I go to pick up all the children.  ( by all I mean 2… not sure why I made it sound like more)

 

3. Cold lunches every morning, I make them, I rock them. I also put money on my kids account and she gets hot lunch…it’s really not the end of the world.

4. Workout time. This is actually something I do feel I need, but also think we’ve put too high of an expectation on. Although the happy endorphins make me seem less crazy, we also need to accept moms in every shape. Because we have kids we are all doing what we can for them, and that wears the shit out of our bodies. If you’re looking for a great program I love my beach body coach! Her name is jess she is awesome and real!

That’s what I’ve got tonight. Go say F it! And enjoy your life, without feeling the guilt of having to do it all, all the Time. You will be late for work sometimes, you will miss some school events, you will have days where you pack your kid the lunchable. Don’t let anyone judge you for that if you’re giving all that you can, stop trying to give more than you have. Maybe I’m writing this one just to me… but maybe it will help someone else too.

 

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I lost my SH.

I finally cracked this weekend. I lost on my kids, I lost it on my husband… I was raging!! But I have tried to find ways to maintain my crazy and keep us all happy because I love these people that put up with my crazy! As people I believe we have a certain threshold of stress that we can handle. I also believe there are two types of people that keep pretending they can do more and more and more. Then there are those who are much better at setting their boundaries and just doing what works for them. I’m the first and dear god I am jealous of the second.

As a mother/wife/full time employee, I tend to be an over achiever in all of the above. Trust me in not bragging! I generally set the bar too high for myself and then feel like a huge failure because the truth is I (we) can’t do it all. More importantly that is okay. That is something I’m still teaching myself. So this is for all of you amazing people who push yourself too much.

1. Always make sure you’re doing something for you. Because, even if life is getting cray cray if you have something for you, at least you have some moments just for you and that on its own can be so rewarding.

2. Eat the chocolate. Drink the coffee. Do what you need to do to keep your sanity. If you’re as busy as me it’s probably because you’re doing a bunch of crap for other people that you love dearly.

3. A long hot shower goes a long way. When I get pissed over stupid stuff and I’m becoming aware of how dumb it is, I hop in the shower for 15 minutes have a good cry and time to think about how to organize my life. Sometimes you need a few minutes to organize your life.

4. Let yourself feel loved. Live in the messy house with the family that loves you and remember to enjoy the moments you have with them.

5. Be you. The best version of you is the real you. Plus if you’re this busy you don’t have time to try and put on a face of someone else. People will either like you for you… or they’re not your people. We all need our own people. And we need to have them to occasionally vent to.

 

Thats all all I got today. As an old friend used to say, have a beautiful day! And don’t lose your SHHH like I did this weekend 🙂 peace!