There are mornings I am laying in bed before the alarm goes off that I just sit there, almost counting my quiet seconds. Enjoying my bliss. I consider just getting up anyway and getting a run in before the crazy begins, but don’t worry I normally talk myself out of it. After that alarm the day is nothing short of a blur. I get the kids ready, drop the, off at their respective schools work my 8 hour day, make dinner and before I know it, it’s bedtime again and I am exhausted. Being a parent no matter how you’re doing it, it’s not easy! Just like you I search for time for myself, I savor my 5 minutes alone when I can get it, it’s not easy… But it’s worth it.
Its worth it when they call your name, when they tell you their stories. Treasure those moments, write them down and enjoy them again and again. I do everything I can to have time with my babies before they get too old to want to have time with their weird mom. I’ll be posting here as often as I can so you can see our weird, and my life. What I’m doing to try and work from home, and sometimes totally randomness. Join me, laugh at me, let me follow you and let’s do this craziness together!
If you have looked back at any of my posts, you can see that about 3 years ago I started considering opening my own boutique. This is the year. this is the year I stop dreaming, this is the year I stop considering, stop wondering, this is the year I stop stopping myself from doing it and start making a change in myself. There are a million reasons I have been afraid to start. Fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of doing something I want to do, and realizing maybe I didn’t really want to do it. But, it’s been 3 years and yet I still think about it in my down time. I still envy other online boutiques whenever I am on Facebook just scrolling through my timeline.
I have everything I need to do this, I have some money to get started, I have the time to do it, I have a husband who supports me completely. There is no reason I should not do it. Fear is the only thing that stopping me. I know in the past I have started posting and just trail off into the oblivion. This year is different – I plan to get on top of my life, I plan to make my life happen. I have had enough down time. I have had enough time to think. It’s time to make my dreams come true, and in the end make our life what we want to. Happy New Year to anyone reading this, and if you have something your challenging yourself with let me know, and I would love to follow you as well and read your journey. I’ll do my best to continue to post about mine.
I never really knew how I was supposed to live my life. For a long time I consumed my own world with work and school and there really wasn’t any time for ‘relaxing’. For me to sit still and do nothing is an anomaly. I never really realized how much I used to do, until I forced myself to do less. I always had 2 jobs or I was trying to pack too many things into one day. As life has slowed down, I realize how much more enjoyable it really is. Watching my family play together and spending time with them has really made me appreciate my family and my especially my husband so much more. A lot of times we get so caught up in trying to bring home the bacon, or make the ends meet we forget what we are really working for. One of the most important things we can do is make a list of reasons we are working.
Why do we do, what we do?
I do it for the time I can spend with my family.
I do it for the lifestyle I eventually want to live.
I do it for the freedom.
While I admire my husband for having a job that he is so passionate about, and at sometimes get a little jealous of how much he loves his job, I can also appreciate that my job helps us live the way we want to live. My job although not something I am super passionate about is something that makes our world at home just a little bit better. It makes waking up in the morning to go to work less difficult when I can realize how much it does for my family.
Maybe it’s not a family you are working for, maybe it’s just for you. Maybe it’s a starting point, and maybe it’s creating a better future for the family you do not have yet. I know that I do it… for them.
Tales of an Amateur housewife:
A few months ago I decided to take on the challenge of redecorating my 3 year olds bedroom. My goal was to craft things with my sewing machine and my craftiness. However I forgot a couple of things. 1. I am not that great at sewing, and by not that great I may have jammed the machine up just a few times and my lines look like a drunk college kids walking path. 2. Oh yeah, I am not that crafty!
However, today we live in a frugal world. With the decline of available jobs in 2008 and the low income to cost of living ratio in Montana, I thought hey I can make this work. So step A) Buy fabric. I do not know if you have gone out buy fabric but it’s not cheap. It is actually more expensive than just buying pillows. so $60 and 6 yards of fabric, I was on my way to making my daughter her pillows, and a possible decorative piece for her room. Because I am so new to this and not one for instructions I figured “hey, I have pillow cases I will just use those as my cut out samples”. Well, they worked… sort of. I had my pillow cases all pinned up and ready to go – I sewed diligently, trying my hardest to sew straight. Well they turned out okay, they looked like pillow cases as long as you did not line them up next to each other you couldn’t tell one was longer and skinner than the other.
Well I put them on my daughter’s bed and bought her matching sheets. Since she is 3 she doesn’t really like having a comforter anyway so I figured I had time, plus it was summer time and we don’t have A/C in our home. She loved them, 3 year olds aren’t too judgy so I had that going for me. The end of summer started to hit, and I figured we should figure out this Comforter situation so we went today to pick out a bed set (using a gift card from 5 months ago that still had $50 on it… we don’t get a lot of extra time). As I am looking I am thoroughly frustrated because obviously none of these bed sets match the custom chevron yellow and grey fabric that Sophie picked out for her pillows 2 months ago. When we finally find one that could work, and end up spending the whole gift card on this bed set I realize I am not as frugal as I once though. I literally just spent $120 on a bedroom set if you include the custom pillow cases that arent; actually even the same size as each other and her comforter which by the way came with pillow cases and other items that match it.
So here I am with a solid 3 months into decorating my daughters room, and it finally has some stuff on the wall, matching comforter, cute blinds, and a broke mom. But hey she is my kid, and we all do weird, stupid things to make sure our kids have great things –
I guess I should probably get started on my room…
I grew up a pretty privileged life, my dad worked hard for us but we had it pretty easy. Growing up people always made it sound like getting everything you wanted was a bad thing. The older I get the more I realize it isn’t a bad thing at all. I remember my dad making us work for things that we wanted. I remember pulling a whole hillside of weeds for a week just so that we could get a trampoline. I remember long days of cleaning the camper just because we took out it out for a few days. My parents gave us a lot, but they also made us work for a lot too. Today I realize how valuable that is. I do get the things I want, but I work my ass for them. The last few years I slaved working 60-80 hour weeks, just to support my family so that we could barely make our ends meet while my husband worked diligently for his dream, and while I found whatever jobs I could to make our lives work, I did that. We have come so far in 3 years of marriage as a family, and I am proud of that. I am proud that because we work so hard we get exactly what we want. Even though sometimes it happens at a slower pace then we would like. We get it. Right now I am sitting in my kitchen admiring my house that Adam and I bought together, and it’s not fancy but it’s ours. While Adam puts together my website for my new online boutique (that I am so excited to get started by the way!) All I can do is sit here and be thankful for all of the wonderful things we have. I really believe that anyone can have whatever they want too, they just have to work for it. If it comes easy, then you won’t appreciate it’s value as much.
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend, now go get whatever it is you want!
Today, I look back and see how far we have come, without forgetting how hard it was to get here. I remember the pain of bar-tending until 4am in the morning and waking up at 6:30 am to take care of my daughter. I remember feeling frustrated because my husband did not have a steady income. All these things, are left in my mind. I look back now and see that they are not bad things to remember though. They are the struggles that brought our family closer, they are the memories we will reflect on and laugh about in 20 years. Those thoughts of feeling like we are going nowhere in life has been lifted, and as the fog has cleared from our line of sight, we can see again. We can dream again. We can conquer anything together.
I know that there will be more struggles as we venture through our life together, I know now, that life is not all peaches and cream. Life is labor, it is learning, it is becoming what you were always meant to be. While I brag on about my husband finding his dream job, I have yet to get there. I am a work in progress trying to find my dream, my passion, my Joie De Vivre! I am excited for this next turn with my family, and hope that anyone (if there is anyone) reading this that they can relate, and find hope in that all the struggles you find yourself in there is a light at the end of the tunnel, your tunnel just may be a little longer to get to the end, than it is for others.
I remember back in 2013 My loving husband decided it was time for him to quit his job as an HVAC guy to do something that he loved. In the past few months he had started a side business. Building websites for small business’ and optimizing their results in search engines like google. It was a stepping stone. He learned an immense amount of things. what to do, or not to do when running a business. He learned that people do not always pay like they say they will. That spring he began to get so much work that we decided it would be best for him to leave his steady paying job and make a living running his own business. Oh my goodness, talk about stress. I was working two jobs, bartending very late nights and serving pizza by day… did I mention I was trying to finish school at this point too. Oh yes and our daughter had just turned 2. Go ahead call us crazy : )
Adam ended up finding someone who said he had a great opportunity for us. Our hopes got really high, we talked about moving to Monterey, CA and changing our whole life from our small mountain town home. Adam put in a lot of hours helping this man out, and while the promises were there the checkbook was always hidden. After 2 months of working hard in hopes of a wonderful job opportunity, and a lot of empty promises we cut ties with this “business man” our funds were running low, and my patience was very thin. I can’t speak of how many tear filled, exhausted nights/conversations we had. I wanted to support my husband and his dreams, but how far do you go? That was a question I remember asking myself quite a bit. How far do you go until you give up… and we never gave up.