I was getting ready to eat Tuesday night with my family – it was taco night, which we established we are going to try and do every Tuesday for 2016. Anyway as i was sitting there I couldn’thelp but feel so lucky for the life I had. The house was a disaster, we were tired, our daughter was cranky as 4 year olds get after a long day of preschool, but I look at what I have and feel so lucky and wonder why i ever question what I want to do. I have done so many things in life that I never wanted to do to get us where we are today. It’s funny though that as people when we finally have our opportunity to do what we want how afraid we are.
I know people who just jump into things and they do well with it every time. I used tobe like that. Flying by the seat of my pants, I was even kind of homeless for a while and that never scared me. I think that having other people rely on me though that has made me more afraid of things in life, almost to a degree of supidity. I say that because it is so stupid to lose a part of your self just because you ‘think’ you have to be a certain way, or have a certain job. I know I can do this I know I can start my own company and do it well…I just have to do it.
If you have looked back at any of my posts, you can see that about 3 years ago I started considering opening my own boutique. This is the year. this is the year I stop dreaming, this is the year I stop considering, stop wondering, this is the year I stop stopping myself from doing it and start making a change in myself. There are a million reasons I have been afraid to start. Fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of doing something I want to do, and realizing maybe I didn’t really want to do it. But, it’s been 3 years and yet I still think about it in my down time. I still envy other online boutiques whenever I am on Facebook just scrolling through my timeline.
I have everything I need to do this, I have some money to get started, I have the time to do it, I have a husband who supports me completely. There is no reason I should not do it. Fear is the only thing that stopping me. I know in the past I have started posting and just trail off into the oblivion. This year is different – I plan to get on top of my life, I plan to make my life happen. I have had enough down time. I have had enough time to think. It’s time to make my dreams come true, and in the end make our life what we want to. Happy New Year to anyone reading this, and if you have something your challenging yourself with let me know, and I would love to follow you as well and read your journey. I’ll do my best to continue to post about mine.
I never really knew how I was supposed to live my life. For a long time I consumed my own world with work and school and there really wasn’t any time for ‘relaxing’. For me to sit still and do nothing is an anomaly. I never really realized how much I used to do, until I forced myself to do less. I always had 2 jobs or I was trying to pack too many things into one day. As life has slowed down, I realize how much more enjoyable it really is. Watching my family play together and spending time with them has really made me appreciate my family and my especially my husband so much more. A lot of times we get so caught up in trying to bring home the bacon, or make the ends meet we forget what we are really working for. One of the most important things we can do is make a list of reasons we are working.
Why do we do, what we do?
I do it for the time I can spend with my family.
I do it for the lifestyle I eventually want to live.
I do it for the freedom.
While I admire my husband for having a job that he is so passionate about, and at sometimes get a little jealous of how much he loves his job, I can also appreciate that my job helps us live the way we want to live. My job although not something I am super passionate about is something that makes our world at home just a little bit better. It makes waking up in the morning to go to work less difficult when I can realize how much it does for my family.
Maybe it’s not a family you are working for, maybe it’s just for you. Maybe it’s a starting point, and maybe it’s creating a better future for the family you do not have yet. I know that I do it… for them.
Tales of an Amateur housewife:
A few months ago I decided to take on the challenge of redecorating my 3 year olds bedroom. My goal was to craft things with my sewing machine and my craftiness. However I forgot a couple of things. 1. I am not that great at sewing, and by not that great I may have jammed the machine up just a few times and my lines look like a drunk college kids walking path. 2. Oh yeah, I am not that crafty!
However, today we live in a frugal world. With the decline of available jobs in 2008 and the low income to cost of living ratio in Montana, I thought hey I can make this work. So step A) Buy fabric. I do not know if you have gone out buy fabric but it’s not cheap. It is actually more expensive than just buying pillows. so $60 and 6 yards of fabric, I was on my way to making my daughter her pillows, and a possible decorative piece for her room. Because I am so new to this and not one for instructions I figured “hey, I have pillow cases I will just use those as my cut out samples”. Well, they worked… sort of. I had my pillow cases all pinned up and ready to go – I sewed diligently, trying my hardest to sew straight. Well they turned out okay, they looked like pillow cases as long as you did not line them up next to each other you couldn’t tell one was longer and skinner than the other.
Well I put them on my daughter’s bed and bought her matching sheets. Since she is 3 she doesn’t really like having a comforter anyway so I figured I had time, plus it was summer time and we don’t have A/C in our home. She loved them, 3 year olds aren’t too judgy so I had that going for me. The end of summer started to hit, and I figured we should figure out this Comforter situation so we went today to pick out a bed set (using a gift card from 5 months ago that still had $50 on it… we don’t get a lot of extra time). As I am looking I am thoroughly frustrated because obviously none of these bed sets match the custom chevron yellow and grey fabric that Sophie picked out for her pillows 2 months ago. When we finally find one that could work, and end up spending the whole gift card on this bed set I realize I am not as frugal as I once though. I literally just spent $120 on a bedroom set if you include the custom pillow cases that arent; actually even the same size as each other and her comforter which by the way came with pillow cases and other items that match it.
So here I am with a solid 3 months into decorating my daughters room, and it finally has some stuff on the wall, matching comforter, cute blinds, and a broke mom. But hey she is my kid, and we all do weird, stupid things to make sure our kids have great things –
I guess I should probably get started on my room…
For a long time it felt like life just wasn’t normal. It felt like we never knew what was coming next. Every week was different. As we have settled into more of a routine, our family has grown so much closer. It also scares me to think about starting my own business. I do not really want to “rock the boat” but at the same time, I know it is the only way I can stay at home and be there for my family the way I want to be.
I think that is pretty normal there is always something standing in front of you when you are ready to begin your dream. It’s almost like we cannot accept that our dreams are coming true so we have to find reasons for them to be stopped, we create imaginary obstacles for ourselves.
What is your imaginary obstacle and why are you making it there?
Ever have a dream, that you thought about but never really anticipated it to take shape? That’s where I am. As I start to file my paperwork to make my company the real deal, it feels so surreal. I am almost hesitant to do it, because that makes it more real. Which means there is no backing out of it now, kind of thing. For someone who has been known to struggle with commitment let me tell you it can be a little nerve racking. At the same time, I can’t help but feel like it’s my baby and I just want it to be so perfect, and so successful.
Research, Research, Research…
While the clock is ticking and my business slowly takes shape, the website almost being done (thanks to my awesome nerdy husband), my paperwork almost filed, all I need is to make an order and start selling. That’s it right? You can research all you want about the best way to make money with an online retail store, but really it all comes down to the person who is doing it, and their amount of willingness to make it work. I know I have that, I know I have the want to make it. I just have to do it!
I’ll keep researching and I’ll keep working at it – but my real question, where does all this money come from…
I grew up a pretty privileged life, my dad worked hard for us but we had it pretty easy. Growing up people always made it sound like getting everything you wanted was a bad thing. The older I get the more I realize it isn’t a bad thing at all. I remember my dad making us work for things that we wanted. I remember pulling a whole hillside of weeds for a week just so that we could get a trampoline. I remember long days of cleaning the camper just because we took out it out for a few days. My parents gave us a lot, but they also made us work for a lot too. Today I realize how valuable that is. I do get the things I want, but I work my ass for them. The last few years I slaved working 60-80 hour weeks, just to support my family so that we could barely make our ends meet while my husband worked diligently for his dream, and while I found whatever jobs I could to make our lives work, I did that. We have come so far in 3 years of marriage as a family, and I am proud of that. I am proud that because we work so hard we get exactly what we want. Even though sometimes it happens at a slower pace then we would like. We get it. Right now I am sitting in my kitchen admiring my house that Adam and I bought together, and it’s not fancy but it’s ours. While Adam puts together my website for my new online boutique (that I am so excited to get started by the way!) All I can do is sit here and be thankful for all of the wonderful things we have. I really believe that anyone can have whatever they want too, they just have to work for it. If it comes easy, then you won’t appreciate it’s value as much.
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend, now go get whatever it is you want!